


I Still Do

by dvg



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Declarations Of Love, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:09:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25693336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvg/pseuds/dvg
Summary: After Robert went to prison, Aaron hit rock bottom and sells the Mill. Then his world gets turned on its axis yet again when Rebecca begs him to take Seb. Now living in a new town, Aaron is determined to be the dad Seb needs.Robert is released from prison after a woman comes forward and admits to the killing. Now out of prison, Robert tries to contact Aaron, determined to get his husband back, and moves to be close to his husband and his son, determined to win them both back. Robert would do anything for Aaron, but is Aaron ready to forgive him?
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> another re-post of a post-prison fic

He didn’t kill Lee. He wasn’t responsible.

When Robert first heard those words from his solicitor, he couldn’t believe it.

Someone had come forward, another one of Lee’s victims, a woman in her early twenties who claimed Lee had sexually assaulted her while her young daughter was sleeping in the next room. She had braved through depression, anxiety, and fear, but nothing could keep her anger at bay against the man that had stolen so much from her. He had stolen so much for her, and her fear of being intimate with anyone else after the assault had just been the tip of the iceberg. It was that unrelenting anger that was just under the surface that had been the orchestrator. For her plan to avenge what he had done to her and countless others. She wasn’t the first, she knew that. And when her sister, a nurse at the hospital, told her she was treating the man that had sexually assaulted her months before, she put her plan into action. She planned it all carefully, biding her time until the moment was right. She snuck into his room one night without being seen and injected his IV with cyanide.

When she first came forward, the police were quick to dispute her claims. They already had the guilty party in jail. He had been found guilty and had already served nearly a year of his fourteen-year sentence.

“I can’t let someone remain in prison for something I did. I killed him, and I’m not sorry I did. I walked into that room and saw him lying there. He was awake, he must have just come to. I looked right at him and I injected him. I got to watch him die. For a brief moment he fought it, then he stopped breathing. I saw this look come over his face like he was having a seizure, then it was over.”

She was adamant about her guilt, so the police were left with no choice but to re-open their investigation into Lee’s death. They were hesitant at first; they were convinced they had convicted the right man. They never expected that they would discover she was telling was the truth or that they would be arresting her and releasing the man who had pled guilty and had been serving time for the crime.

Some things never change, Robert thought as he drove his new black Mercedes into the village he’d once called home. The pub, the café, and all the houses that lined the street looked the same as he drove past. But the Mill, he thought, the place he’d built and lived in with his family, looked deserted and it had definitely been remodeled at some point since he’d been gone. The grass had been dug up and replaced with paving stones and the front doors had been swapped for sleek french doors with frosted glass windows.

He wondered if Aaron was inside and what he was doing and who he was with. Would he be cooking dinner for his boyfriend? Or would they be snuggling on the couch watching a boring movie or a stupid reality show?

_ You lost your right to have any say with what Aaron does with his life a long time ago,  _ he reminded himself.

If Aaron had moved on, he had every right to after what he'd done, Robert thought. He had been the one to end things, he had lost his right to care what Aaron did with his life long ago. It had been over a year, what did he expect? He hated to think about Aaron living his life alone, but just the thought of Aaron sharing his bed, his life, with someone else was agonizing.

Aaron’s car was nowhere to be seen, and Robert didn't want to travel down that road where he analyzed it, but he couldn't stop envisioning how Aaron was living his life without him. It had been what he had wanted for Aaron, why he had pushed Aaron away, so why did it hurt so bad? But moving on with someone else? He didn't want to think about it, it hurt too much and it only fed his insecurities.

_ You don’t belong here,  _ he told himself.  _ Why did you come back? _

With the view of the Mill fading in the rearview mirror, a tingle of fear tickled the back of his neck.

He hated to admit it, but he was scared.

Fear of rejection kept him from calling Aaron, the only person he'd really come back for.  _ Give it time,  _ he told himself. Instead, he had decided to torment himself by driving by the Mill and envisioning what was going on behind closed doors when he really had no idea.

What if Aaron wasn't there because he was with someone else, but because he was hurt? He should have been here, they should be together right now in their home, upstairs in their bedroom, enjoying each other and raising a family.

But no, he had walked away from the only thing that mattered. But now things were different - now he knew he hadn't been the one that had killed Lee, that was he was innocent.

Of the crime maybe, he thought, but not of messing everything else up.

Broken. He felt broken. A year on the inside could do that to a man he supposed, but as he parked his car in front of Victoria’s cottage and grabbed his bag from the trunk, he started to wonder if coming back here, a place that held so many memories, good and bad, was the right decision.

Maybe it was too soon. Maybe the wounds were still too fresh and he wasn’t thinking clearly because all he could think about was getting back in his car and driving back to the Mill and banging on the door until Aaron had no choice but to open it.

Then he would get down on his hands and knees until Aaron forgave him.

Aaron had never signed the divorce papers his lawyer sent, so maybe that’s why he was still clinging to a tiny ray of hope that he still had a chance. Aaron wouldn't just move on with someone else if they were still married, he knew Aaron better than that.

He was still trying to decide what his next step was when he knocked on his sister’s door.

And when he heard the front door open and he saw Victoria for the first time in almost a year, they both cried. Vic launched herself into his arms, and he pulled her close and buried his head against her shoulder. 

“You’re really here, I can’t believe it.” Vic couldn’t let go of him in fear that he would disappear. “Come inside, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Robert had been nervous about meeting his nephew. On the long drive from the prison to Emmerdale, he’d gone over it in his mind, wondering how he would feel, afraid that he would take one look into his nephew’s eyes and see his father, see the hate and the pain that he had caused. But he didn’t.

_ The sins of the father are not the sins of the son. _

All he saw was a beautiful little boy who looked just like his mother.

Nothing prepared him for the lurch in his chest as he held Harry in his arms. A million worries faded away.

Later, after he watched Victoria tuck her son into bed, he asked the question he’d been dreading the answer to. “How is Aaron?”

And with one look, Robert felt his heart get stuck in his throat. Had something bad happened?

“I haven’t spoken to him for a few weeks, but the last time I did talk to him he seemed fine.”

He seemed fine? What the hell did that mean? “I didn’t see his car at the Mill. Is he away?” With his boyfriend? Just the thought of Aaron with another man churned his insides.

“Rob, he doesn’t live at the Mill anymore. He sold it.”

“What do you mean he sold it? Why the hell would he do that?”

Vic gave him a look. “I think you already know the answer to that."

“Because of me.” 

“He wasn’t coping, Rob. Everywhere he turned he was faced with another memory. Your shadow, it was always there, lurking, reminding him of what he lost. And his family didn’t exactly help things. He felt alone, like he had no one to turn to. I was the only one he could talk to about you, everyone else they couldn’t even mention your name.”  _ Like you had never even existed,  _ she thought bitterly. “In the end, he couldn’t deal with it anymore and made the decision to sell the Mill. He got an offer really quickly and as soon as he signed the papers, he was gone.”

“What do you mean  _ he’s gone _ ?”

“He moved away. To Beechwood, just outside of Liverpool.”

This didn't make any sense. “He wouldn't have just got up and left the place he’s called home for most of his life, left his family because of me.”  _ This is not what I wanted for him,  _ he thought. But in hindsight, something this drastic is what he had been afraid of.

_ This can’t be just because of me _ .

“He had his reasons, Rob. I tried to change his mind, but it was already made up. You know how stubborn he is. Once his mind is made up about something there’s no changing it. I wasn’t going to force him to stay when he had a million reasons he needed to go. He had enough people trying to guilt him into staying without me interfering.”

“His family you mean.”

“You know how Chas and Paddy are. They would have chained him to the pub if they thought it would keep him here.”

Robert had clung to those memories that Aaron had tried but couldn’t outrun while he was locked up. They were the only thing keeping him from wanting to end it all. Sometimes those memories snuck out behind his eyes and rolled down his cheeks, but they saved him, forced him to keep fighting, to not give up.

Any hope he had of going back to the Mill, any chance he thought they might have had to start again had just blown up in smoke.

“I know I hurt him by sending him those divorce papers, but I never expected him to drastically change his life by moving away. This is the last thing I wanted for him.”

“You have no idea how hard this was for him, how hard he tried to just make it through. He loved you,” Vic said, jabbing a finger into Robert’s chest. “And you wouldn’t even talk to him. How do you think that made him feel? He didn't know what else to do. And all he heard was  _ move on _ , and then there was Chas who was always trying to set him up with these random blokes that he had absolutely no interest in. He was being pushed and pushed until finally he'd had enough. There was no way he was ready to get serious about someone so soon, especially when you weren't even officially divorced.”

Somehow all of this didn't surprise him, but it hurt. “We’re still not divorced,” he said, as a sad smile etched on his face. “I have to find him, talk to him. Do you have an address?”

Victoria hesitated. She would do anything for her brother, but Aaron had confided in her and she didn’t want to break that trust. “I’m not sure he would want me to give it to you.”

“Please,” Robert pleaded. “I still love him. I need to at least try and make things right between us. If there’s still a chance for us, I need to know where he is so I can talk to him.”

He was done taking the easy way out. Losing Aaron had taught him that. 

And in the end, this was Aaron and Robert, and Vic knew that if there were any two people who could find their way back to each other, it was the two of them. And she wasn’t sure how long she would be able to deny her brother anything when he looked like his heart had just been ripped into two.

“Okay fine but promise me you’ll find him, and you’ll bring him back home. I miss him.”

“Not as much as I do.”


	2. Chapter 2

He should have known he would relapse. He should have been prepared for it, but he’d failed at that too.

He needed to get his life back on track. He couldn’t keep living this way.

It was that damn photograph, Aaron thought, placing blame where it belonged. He should have torn it up months ago, like every other picture that had Robert’s face staring back at him. He should have stopped wearing Robert’s wedding ring on the silver chain around his neck that he kept hidden from prying eyes.

He should have done a lot of things, he thought bitterly, but that didn’t stop him from holding on, clinging to memories of a marriage to a man that no longer cared about him, who had cut him off without a word.

It had been nearly a year, it was time to stop wallowing and move on. Every moment that he and Robert had shared, and whatever they had meant to each other, was gone and needed to be left in the past.

He had been putting on a good show on the outside pretending he was fine. But inside he was slowly dying, losing more of himself every day that passed.

He stared at the dishes that were now smashed to pieces on the floor. He didn’t even remember grabbing them from the shelf. He picked up a piece of glass and briefly considered using it to end his misery.

No, he couldn’t bring himself to do it, even though he longed to feel the cold edge of the broken glass against his skin. His soul was already dead, what was the point of living? He had lost Robert and had lost Seb shortly after, sending him into a tailspin of reckless behavior and his exorbitant dependence on alcohol.

Instead, he sank to the floor and wept, clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels like it was a lifeline. He had turned to alcohol to numb the pain, but it was just another addiction, some other form of trying to deal with his problems.

_ This is my last drink,  _ he told himself as he finished off the rest of the bottle. Even he knew he was lying.

He was done. He had cried, fought, tried so hard, but everything was crashing down and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

That’s when he decided to live in this place, the house he and Robert had built together, where they planned to build a life and raise a family, was something he could no longer do.

He had to get out of here. A change of scenery was what he needed. He didn’t want to succumb to the temptation to keep going down this dark road where alcohol was his only form of survival.

He would find a place where he could escape the memories, of Robert, of their life together. Maybe he could finally find some peace.

The cottage had once been full of life, but now it just felt empty. A part of him was missing, and no coat of paint or replacing the pictures on the wall was going to change that.

Nothing could.

He should be used to this by now, Aaron thought, the constant ache in his chest that hadn’t diminished with time.

He was tired, so damn tired of everyone telling him it would get easier.

They lied.

_ Robert would want you to be happy, not wallowing in self misery.  _ Screw what Robert wanted.

_ Let me introduce you to this nice bloke.  _ He wasn’t interested in anybody else, why couldn’t they leave it alone?

This wasn’t the life he wanted, the one they had planned. They should have a baby by now, a family of their own. It wasn’t supposed to end this way. Instead, Robert was in prison and he was stuck here, trying to stumble through a life that wasn’t really a life at all.

Every morning he still found himself reaching over and curling his fingers around the pillow where Robert’s head should be laying. But then he feels nothing, and he’s reminded again that Robert is gone and he's alone.

All it did was make him want to reach for another drink to drown out the pain and to fall back down that dark hole of despair.

The decision to put the Mill up for sale hadn't been an easy one, and it had been long overdue. It had taken him hitting rock bottom and another empty bottle of whiskey to admit that it was time.

His mum had pleaded with him, begged him to change his mind, tried everything she could think of to make him feel guilty for even thinking about leaving. She needed him here, not just for herself but for Eve. She used every trick in the book to try and stop him.

_ This is all Robert's fault,  _ that was her last-ditch effort. That was rich, he thought with a snort. Why did everyone always have to mention Robert every time he made a decision about his life like Robert still held any reign over him? It pissed him off, and it only added to his already crippling patience.

He was tired, so damn tired of everyone and everything.

His mum never failed to let her resentment towards Robert show, and she only mentioned him now because she thought it would add fuel to her argument that was so utterly futile.

He couldn't wait to get away from this place, distance himself from everyone and everything that had been making his life a misery.

If she didn't like it, well too damn bad. If he didn't do this now, he would lose his nerve and stay planted in the one place that was slowly destroying him.

It was his decision to make and he told her as much. He was fed up with her constant meddling.

Why did no one understand that he can't just turn it off, that just because Robert's gone doesn't mean he can just stop loving him, that it's not just a switch he can turn on and off when he's in the mood. He should be over Robert by now, that's what everyone keeps telling him, but it doesn't change the fact that he isn't and he's not sure he ever will be.

He hadn't been in the mood for a fight, but she'd forced him into one. For the first time in months, he was taking control of his life.

The only person that seemed to be on his side was Vic. She didn't like it, but she supported his choice. She knew how hard it had been for him, despite the illusion he manufactured to disguise his pain. She knew he couldn't keep living like this, constantly being pulled farther down a dark hole that didn't seem to have any end in sight.

It hadn't even been on the market for two days when Aaron received an offer. He signed the papers, ultimately signing away his home. It hurt like hell, but he knew it was what he needed to do.

It wasn't a home anymore, he reminded himself. It hadn't been for almost a year. It had just been an empty place where he laid his head down at night. It was devoid of everything a home should be. Love, family, happy memories. It all disappeared the day Robert left.

The news had made its way around the village quickly, thanks to the gossip train that was a constant fixture, so he wasn't surprised when Vic showed up just as he was tacking the sold sign on the front lawn.

He saw a brief flicker of disappointment cross her face and pulled her into a hug.

"You sold it already?" 

"Yeah, to a nice young couple with a baby on the way."

"You're really sure about this?"

"I wouldn't have signed the papers if I wasn't." Aaron looked down at the sold sign and sighed. It felt so final, but it was the right thing to do. This wasn't his home anymore.

She gestured towards the house. "You're going to miss it though aren't you?"

"I'm trying not to be too sentimental about it. I've had enough of that for a lifetime."

"I saw your mum earlier."

"I can just imagine what she had to say."

"She's not very happy," Vic admitted. "But I told her that no one can force you to stay if you're this unhappy, and I know you are. I see it in your eyes every time I see you. As much as it hurts to think about you moving away, I know it's what you need." 

At least she understood. He didn't need another person giving him a hard time about his decision. "Thank you. It's nice to have someone on my side."

"He would want you to be happy, you know. And if this is what will help you, I'll support you. He's a stubborn old git, and you know I'm still mad at him for what he did to you, but deep down I know he did what he did to protect you."

"I wouldn't know," Aaron snapped. "I tried calling the prison again a few months ago and he's still refusing to talk to me. He's made his feelings for me pretty damn clear." Aaron looked back at the Mill and felt a sting of pain and regret. Whatever love had lived here, it was nonexistent now.

Fate stepped in again a week later as he was taping up the last of the moving boxes.

The phone call from Rebecca was unexpected and an omen. He could barely understand her over her sobs. “I need you, Aaron. I can’t take care of Seb. He’s not safe with me. Please, I need him to come stay with you. Robert always said you were the best thing that ever happened to Seb, and he was right. Please, I really need your help.”

If it wasn't for his concern for Seb, Aaron would have told her where to go. Just another person bringing Robert up into a conversation and expecting him to react. Aaron took several deep breaths as her words sank in and what they meant. “Is Seb alright? Is he hurt?”

“Seb is fine,” she assured him. “I just can’t be the mum he deserves. He needs stability and a loving home and I can’t give him that. I’m so messed up. Please, Aaron.”

“You don’t even have to ask. Tell me where you are.”

He hadn’t known what to expect when he drove into Beechwood, a small town just outside of Liverpool where Rebecca and Seb had been living the past six months.

He hadn’t seen Seb for over a year, wasn’t even sure Seb would remember him. His hair had turned a sandy blond, which was just another reminder of Robert, and he had sprouted. But what shocked Aaron the most was how detached and frightened Seb seemed as he held onto Rebecca’s hand tightly.

He’d already signed the papers Rebecca’s lawyer had drawn up that would give him primary custody of Seb. Starting today, he was now Seb’s legal guardian.

He had missed Seb so much, had dreamed of the day he would see his son again a million times, but not like this. 

His heart broke as he watched a single tear roll down Seb's cheek.

And when he watched Rebecca get into her car and disappear down the road without even looking back, abandoning her son, her own flesh and blood, he grabbed Seb’s hand and promised him everything would be alright.

He just hoped he could keep that promise. 


	3. Chapter 3

Rebecca was a textbook case of a battered spouse in Anna’s eyes. She had been a caseworker for the county for ten years and she had seen this type of situation too often.

Rebecca had left Leo countless times, but she always went back. She had been hospitalized countless times, the last time she'd be admitted with a dislocated jaw for which she had a hard time explaining. All of her injuries were at the hand of the man who claimed to love her.

Not a week after she had been released from the hospital, she was found passed out in her car on the side of the road with the motor still running with Seb fast asleep in the back seat clutching his favorite stuffed bunny.

The police had suspected she had been under the influence of alcohol. The slurred words and blurry vision all pointed there, so they had no choice but to arrest her. She had been hysterical, and clearly couldn't remember how she ended up on a deserted highway and couldn't recall consuming the alcohol that was found in her system.

And that hadn’t been the first time something like this had happened while Seb was in her care, and they felt like they had no choice but to put Seb into foster care.

Rebecca had been furious and even offered to voluntarily enter into an alcohol rehabilitation program, but she refused to let them drag her son into the foster care system when he had a father that could take care of him.

“I thought you said his father was in prison,” Anna said. She figured this was just another stall tactic. She’d seen it firsthand too many times to count.

“Robert is, but his husband isn’t.”

“You failed to mention he was married when this happened before. In fact, you said there was no one that you felt comfortable calling to help you when we told you that if this happened again we would have no choice but to take Seb out of your care.”

“I was scared okay? I didn’t want to have to tell Aaron that I screwed up again. Please, just let me call him. I know he’ll come. Please, I don’t want my son living with strangers.”

“I can’t promise anything. You should have mentioned Aaron before.”

“After Seb’s dad went to prison, I cut Aaron out of Seb’s life. It was stupid and selfish I know that, but I realize now how much Seb needs him. Please. You can talk to Aaron yourself if you don’t believe me.”

And when Rebecca had called him, he'd made the drive down just like she knew he would.

Rebecca recognized the hate and fury in Aaron's eyes, had expected it.  _ Let him hate me,  _ she thought. As long as he takes Seb. And she had no doubt he would. Aaron was loyal to a fault, especially when it came to Seb.

“I’m sorry, Aaron. I know I screwed everything up. For Seb and for you. I never should have kept him from you.”

“You said he couldn’t be around me, that my bad behavior would rub off on him. That’s rich coming from you. This is what? The third time you’ve been arrested and this boyfriend of yours is no better. Look at what he did to your face.”

“It was just an accident. We had an argument and he lost his temper and----”

“There’s no  _ and _ , Rebecca. He beat you and this wasn’t the first time, was it? Stop making excuses for him.”

“Let’s not talk about it, Aaron. I don’t want to fight with you.”

“I had just lost my husband, I had a good reason for acting the way I was. You don’t have one. You’re just like Robert,” he said angrily. “You think you can make decisions for other people consequences be damned. But guess what, he was never any good at it and neither are you. How the hell could you get involved with a man like that and let him around Seb? He could have been hurt! How selfish are you?”

“Aaron please,” Rebecca pleaded with him. “I know I messed up and you have every right to hate me, but I need your help. I’m not asking for me, I’m asking for Seb. He needs you, Aaron and he loves you. It ripped my heart out every time he asked me when Daddy Aaron was going to visit him.”

“Don’t you dare try to guilt me into this,” Aaron snapped. “I would have been there for him if you would have just let me, but you wouldn’t. You only want me here now because you need me or they’ll take Seb from you. If you really want my help, you'll do what I tell you.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want custody of Seb.”

“What? Aaron, no, I can’t---”

“Don’t you love him?”

“Of course, I do!”

“I’m not sure I believe you, not after you've put him in danger time and again. But if you honestly love him, then you want what’s best for him, and that’s me. I can offer him everything you can’t. And I’m not sure you’ll ever be in a position to. I’ll even move here so his life isn’t any more disrupted then it already has been. Then if, and when you ever get your shit together, you can visit him.”

“You would move here for Seb?”

Aaron didn’t see the point in mentioning that he was already planning to leave Emmerdale and that in a few weeks he would be homeless. It was none of her business anyway. He would have moved anywhere for Seb even if he hadn’t just sold the Mill, he realized. He would do anything for that kid.

And, he hated to admit it, but he owed it to Robert.

His voice was compassionate but firm when he spoke again. “Contact your lawyer and get the papers drawn up. I want to see them by the time I get out there. Don’t dawdle, Rebecca. His welfare and safety are at stake, we both know that.”

It was hard to argue with Aaron and his damn common sense. She would have to swallow her pride and admit that what he was asking was what was best for Seb.

And it killed her to admit that she was never going to be able to be the mum that Seb needed. “Fine. I’ll do whatever you want,” she said quickly, already questioning her decision. “If you’re really serious about moving out here. I don’t want to take anything else away from Seb. I’ve taken so much from him already, including you. If I can give him back some of what he’s lost, whatever the price is, I’ll do it, but it doesn’t mean I like it.”

“I said I’d do anything for Seb and I stand by that.”

“Robert would be proud of you, you know. For putting your feelings about him and me aside and changing your whole life for his son.”

“He’s my son too you know,” he snapped. “I would do anything for him. And this has nothing to do with Robert. What he thinks or how he feels doesn’t carry much weight anymore.”

The emotional pain from Robert’s betrayal was still there, Rebecca thought. He had buried it masterfully, but there was pain, unbearable pain, just beneath the surface of his fragile heart. And she was pretty sure there was still love there, too, even though Aaron would probably deny it even if a gun was held to his head.

Aaron didn't want to talk about Robert. His concern now was Seb. "The papers," he said again as he got back into his car to drive back to Emmerdale. "I'll be back in a few days." He had to finish packing and say his goodbyes to everything and everyone he was leaving behind. 

He had made his choice. There was no going back.

* * *

Anna had worked long and hard to get Rebecca and Seb into a shelter. Rebecca had stayed less than twenty-four hours before changing her mind, and her story. Though Anna’s heart ached for her, it had come down to the welfare of Seb. That was her priority.

But Seb had been living with Aaron for three weeks now, and Seb’s demeanor had completely changed.

She knew she had made the right decision in recommending that the adoption go through. Seb belonged with Aaron.

For the first time since she’d met him, Seb seemed happy, exactly how a four-year-old should be, she thought. A kid his age shouldn't be worried about how long it would be before he had to watch his mum be abused again or if those hands would suddenly turn on him. No, that was no way for any child to grow up, being constantly afraid of what was going to happen next and how he would survive through it.

He had been so shy and reserved, she thought, but he had done a complete turn around since then.

Anna sat with Aaron on a wooden bench in the park while Seb played. The rain was coming, she thought, looking up at the sky. "He's settling in really well," she said. "That's down to you. I have to tell you, I was really worried about this case. The first time I met Seb, I was so scared for him. I didn't want him to end up lost in the system."

"He could have been seriously hurt." He could still feel the anger smoldering inside of him. "I wish I had known sooner. I would have been here in a heartbeat."

"I wish I had known about you earlier. Maybe we could have gotten Seb out of there sooner, but there's nothing we can do about that now. Look at him," Anna said, her gaze landing on Seb, who was amusing himself with throwing sand up in the air in the sandbox. "That's one happy boy. You would never know the horror he's been through just looking at him."

"I'm going to make sure he never goes through anything like that again. That's a promise."

Anna believed him. "You said the last time we spoke that you'd been contacted by Seb's other dad."

_ Not just Seb's other dad, but my husband.  _ He hadn't been able to think about anything else. "Yeah, he's been released. I haven't heard the whole story, but it turns out he's innocent of the crime he was in prison for. He wants to see me."

"Does he know you have Seb?"

Aaron shook his head. "No, we haven't really had a chance to talk. I got a text message from him yesterday, but I haven't responded to it yet. I'm not sure what to say to him."

Anna thought about the photo she'd seen in his flat on the mantle, and all the happiness that radiated in just one photograph. "Seb was sure a beautiful baby. He looked so happy sitting there in between his two dads on their wedding day. What do you think Seb would say if he could see both his dads together again?"

"He would probably love it," Aaron murmured. "Hell, I would too, but so much has happened I'm not sure if we can get past it."

"There's only one way to find out."

"I guess you're right." Aaron pulled out his phone, stared at the message from Robert he'd been analyzing over non-stop for the last twenty-four hours.

_ Aaron, it’s me. I’m not sure if you’ve heard but I’ve been released. I came back to find you, but you’re not here. I really want to come see you but I don’t want to just show up just to have you slam the door in my face. I just want to talk. I still love you, you know. Never stopped. I know I’ve been an idiot, and I have a lot of explaining to do. When you're ready, just please call me. I'll be waiting. _

Robert had crushed him. He had literally crushed his heart. Then he had scattered the pieces that were left when he’d needed Robert the most. When they had needed each other the most.

And for that, Aaron wasn’t sure he could ever forgive or forget, and it left him still feeling bitter after a year.

He wanted to swallow that bitterness once and for all, to get beyond it, fully, and move ahead. Perhaps, he thought, it was time.

He’d been so sure back then, so positive that he knew what he wanted, what he needed. He hadn’t wanted or needed anything else but Robert. And in the end, he’d been forced to reevaluate his life and everything in it.

He had neglected his needs and wants for too long. It was time to put himself first, and Seb. Seb was his priority now. He didn’t have time to deal with Robert and his pathetic apologies.

They could be happy just the two of them, he thought. But could he just ignore Robert when he was within reach? He'd been living without Robert for a year and it had almost destroyed him. Could he really walk away from that?

For his sanity, and his heart, he had to. But maybe, just maybe, seeing Robert one more time would finally give him the closure he’d been denied.

And that, he rationalized, was why he would respond to Robert’s message. It wasn’t because he still thought they had a future, but even he knew that was a lie.

He stared at the message one more time, then looked back over at Anna. "I'm just doing this for Seb," he said, and knew he wasn't just trying to convince her, but himself. 

_ You know where to find me if you want to talk so badly, but don’t expect a hell of a lot. You owe me, Sugden. You do the groveling this time. _

There, Aaron thought.  _ It’s in your court now. _

_ Sure you are _ , Anna thought, and smiled as she watched Seb go down the slide for the tenth time. The laughter was radiating off him like the sun.


	4. Chapter 4

Robert ignored the headache that was brewing, and slapped on cologne and ran a hand through his hair. His eyes were somber as he stared at his reflection in the foggy bathroom mirror.

Sometimes he didn't recognize the man whose reflection stared back at him, but for the first time in months, he didn't cringe. This new version of himself, he had worked hard to perfect it. The man he saw in the mirror now wasn't obsessed with revenge or looking for the next score. No, that man was long gone and he preferred it that way.

That man had been too reckless and made too many mistakes, mistakes that had carried a price tag that hadn't been worth the cost.

There was a scar that rode along the left of his jawline – courtesy of an inmate who hadn’t taken too kindly to Robert’s opinion of his smart mouth after he’d made a comment about Robert being married to a man. He rubbed a thumb absently over the faded line.

He had survived prison, but he wasn't sure he had survived losing Aaron.

He strapped on his watch, looked down at the time. 

"You're such an idiot," he said to his reflection. "You're nothing without him. How the hell did you ever convince yourself to let him go?"

* * *

By mid-morning he threw the last of his bags into the trunk of his car. His mind flashed back to the night before when he'd stayed up most of the night talking to Aaron on the phone, which had resulted in very little sleep. 

There had been a lot of yelling - on Aaron's part, but Robert couldn't blame him - and there had been a lot he had needed to get off his chest, emotions that he had kept buried for a year. All of that was on Robert, he knew, no question, so he had didn't say a word while Aaron let everything out, letting the curse words fly. But it was Aaron's accusation that he had only cared about himself that nearly had him shouting into the phone.

_ I did it for you. I get that you're angry and I hurt you, but don't sit there and tell me you know why. You have no idea. _

He remembered all too vividly the feeling of watching his world slip away and the heart-wrenching, rippling grief as he heard the click of those steel bars that first night. He had fallen to the ground after the guard had walked away, and cried into his hands.

It had been in that moment when it had really hit him that he had just lost everything.

He had needed to know why Aaron had left everything he had ever known behind. Maybe he was being selfish, and maybe it was his foolish pride, but he needed to know that it wasn’t all down to him and his stupid mistakes.

But the evidence had been overpowering. Everything pointed to an emotional reason as to why Aaron left Emmerdale, and that laid heavy on Robert’s heart.

But by the end of their conversation, Aaron's tone had evolved into something more subdued and his anger towards Robert had mostly diminished. But it had been Aaron's declaration after that that had sent his heart into a tailspin.

_ I don’t hate you. If you really want to make this work, I’m willing to give it a try. But there’s something I have to tell you first. _

Robert had been left unnerved, waiting for the words to come that he wasn't sure he wanted to hear. Had Aaron met someone? Had he lost his chance?

But what came next was so unexpected that it left his mind reeling.

_ I have custody of Seb. It’s a long story. I’ll explain when I see you, if you still plan on coming down, unless you’ve changed your mind. _

He hadn’t changed his mind. And hearing about Seb only clinched it for him.

_ Try and stop me. I’ll be there. And yes I know, you want me to grovel. _

There was still so much to say between them, but they would have time to delve deeper into that once they were face to face.

And they would keep talking, he would make Aaron see that everything he did, every decision he made, had been because for once in his life he was trying to put someone else first.

He hoped it wasn't too late and that Aaron would understand. And maybe, in time, Aaron could forgive him.

They could make this work, Robert thought. And maybe being able to do it away from Emmerdale, the place Aaron had run from, was the only way they would have a fighting chance.

It was a chance for a fresh start, and he wasn't going to screw it up this time.

* * *

By mid-afternoon, he was loading the last of his bags into his car.

He had a job lined up, a flat, all here in Emmerdale, and he was risking it all, giving it all up just for the chance of being with Aaron again.

It wasn’t going to be easy to gain Aaron’s trust back, he knew that, but it was worth every single risk he knew he was about to take.

In a gesture that had become automatic over the past few weeks, Robert looked over his shoulder as he closed the trunk of his car. He half expected to hear sirens wailing and a police car to pull up behind him to cart him back off to prison. 

No one was paying attention to him, he thought with a sigh of relief. There was no reason for the back of his neck to tingle in a primal warning.

But it did.

He was struggling to settle back into normal life and having to face the people that he’d hurt had only added to the stress of the situation.

He had come out of prison a changed man, and a just a little bit damaged. But he was learning to cope, and the first step was making things right with the people he’d hurt.

He covered a yawn with his hand as Victoria opened the front door and leaned against the door jamb as she watched him. “You’re not going to start blubbering again, are you? I’m not leaving forever you know.”

“You might decide to stay if Aaron asks you to.”

He’d already decided that, but she didn’t need to know that. “If we find a way to make things work and he asks me to stay, I will. But it’s not like we’d be that far away, it’s only a couple of hours.”

Because the future was up in the air and she had no idea when she would see her brother again, Victoria pulled him in for a hug and held on tight. “One drink before you go?”

Robert looked over at the pub. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You heard Chas yesterday. She nearly lost it on me.”

“I have a feeling she feels differently today.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because I heard her talking to Aaron on the phone earlier this morning when I went into prep. He told her about Seb. Rob, did you know that Rebecca left Seb with him?”

“I only learned about it last night when we talked on the phone.” He still couldn’t wrap his head around it, and couldn’t for the life of him figure out why Rebecca would all of a sudden give up custody of Seb when the last he’d heard she had cut Aaron out of Seb’s life completely after he went to prison. He gave in and sighed. "Fine, one drink, but then I have to get going."

He tuned out the whispers and avoided the stares as he walked into the pub and joined Victoria in a booth at the back.

“There’s nothing I can say to convince you to stay, is there?”

“I need to go, Vic. You know I love you and I’ve loved getting to spent time with Harry the past couple of days, but I have no life here without Aaron and Seb. Where they are, that’s where I belong.”

“I know.” Victoria sighed. “I still can’t believe he didn’t tell anyone about Seb. He only told Chas about it this morning, probably because he didn’t want her to hear it from you in case you let it slip.”

Chas surprised him by placing a pint in front of him and flashing him a smile that hadn’ t been there yesterday when she’d cornered him in the same booth they were in now. She had refused to listen to his apologies and told him in no uncertain terms that she blamed him for Aaron leaving. What had changed? he wondered.

“You’ll tell me, won’t you, how he’s doing? You’ll make sure he’s fine. And Seb too.”

“Of course. Chas,” he said, leaning forward. “I made a lot of mistakes, I know that, but I’m going to make things right, do whatever I have to make it up to the both of them.”

“I’m sure you’ll find away. It’s no secret that I was upset when he told me he was leaving. He’s still pretty sore with me.”

“I still can’t wrap my head around it.”

“But it wasn’t just because of you, and I’m sorry I made it out like it was. I was just upset.” Chas sighed, and without invitation, sat beside him. “I pushed him too hard, too soon. I didn’t give him time to heal that I know he needed. I thought I was helping him, but I know now it was just me being selfish. I just hated seeing him so sad all the time.”

“You’re not the only one to blame. I hurt him, Chas, this all started with me. But I’m going to end it.”

“I’m glad to hear it. And despite all the vicious things I said to you yesterday, I’m glad you got the justice you deserved. You never should have gone to prison in the first place.”

“I was the one that put Lee in the hospital,” Robert reminded her. “But I didn’t kill him. That’s a relief, but how can I be happy about it when a woman is locked up? He tormented her just like he did Vic. And now a child has lost her mother. How can I feel happy about that? Because I don’t. It kills me just thinking about it. Part of me wishes she had never come forward.”

“But then you’d still be in jail, which isn’t fair either.”

“My life was already over, why did she have to ruin hers? She didn’t even know me, and there was no way of connecting her to Lee because she never filed a report against him. She was never even seen in the vicinity of his room. She could have easily gone on with her life without giving it a second thought.”

Chas had read about it in the papers. Her heart broke for not only the mother but the child. “The guilt was probably eating away at her. From what I read in the papers, she’d been consumed with it for months, and when she found out someone was in jail for her crime, she didn’t even think twice about walking into that police station and turning herself in."

“And in the process, it ruined two more lives,” Robert murmured. “At least they went easier on her than they did on me. Five years. Still, by the time she gets out her daughter will have grown up without her.”

“She did what she thought was right. It’s a relief in some way knowing I wasn’t his only victim.” Vic reached out and covered Robert’s hand with her own. “You have to stop beating yourself up about it. We all need to find a way to get past this. It’s over, Rob. You’re free now, and you have a real chance of getting your life back. Don’t waste it.”

“But what if he can never forgive me? I thought I was doing the right thing by letting him go, but all it did was cause him more pain. What if he can’t get past it? What if I’ve ruined everything?”

“He’s stubborn,” Chas said. “But he never stopped loving you. Trust me, we all saw it. Yes he was in a lot of pain, and yes he’ll probably still be mad as hell at you for a while and you definitely have your work cut out for you, but isn’t it worth a try?”

“And Seb,” Vic said. “Your son, he’s going to need the both of you. I know you and Aaron will find a way to get through all of this.”

“I hope you’re right.” He tossed back the rest of his beer. “Well, I better hit the road if I want to get there before it gets dark. I told Aaron I would try and be there before Seb’s bedtime.”

Chas felt her heart squeeze. “Tell him I love him and that I miss him. And give that grandson of mine a great big hug from his nana.”

Vic tried to reign in the sadness she felt at the thought of her brother leaving when she'd just gotten him back. "Drive safe and please don't do anything stupid."

"Thanks for that, Sis. I love you too."

He was about to walk himself right back into Aaron’s orbit and nothing short of a meteor crashing down around him was going to stop him from reclaiming what was his.

* * *

As the sun disappeared behind a dark cloud, Robert got behind the wheel and started to make the three-hour drive to Beechwood.

He weaved his car around tight bends, up and down rolling hills, the only view ahead of him was the deserted stretch of highway and a gray sky.

The sun was peeking out of the clouds when he drove into the small town of Beechwood just outside of Liverpool. Mist and fog hung in the evening air. As he drove through the main drag lined with houses, restaurants, and shops, his thoughts drifted to Aaron. Aaron had been willing to give up everything for him, yet he couldn’t think of one thing he’d given Aaron except lies.

As he maneuvered his car around the corner and found the address Aaron had given him, the nerves set in. 

There had been resentment in Aaron’s tone when they had spoken on the phone, an underlying anger he hadn’t allowed himself to admit had been festering just under the surface for a year. Robert couldn’t help wondering if too much time had passed. He wasn’t living in denial. He knew he had his work cut out for him when it came to finally see Aaron face to face and dealing with the repercussions of his actions.

He had only lied to protect Aaron, Robert rationalized, but that didn’t change the fact that he had hurt Aaron. Badly.

A bolt of fear drove straight into his heart as he knocked on the door.

Aaron knew the minute he opened the door he had no choice but to stop running. He had tried to convince himself that this was a bad idea, that the days of him caving to Robert’s demands were long gone. But it didn't matter how many times he tried to tell himself it was over, that he should just leave Robert in the past when just the thought of never seeing Robert again brought him to his knees.

He should have ignored Robert’s attempts at contacting him, he should have run in the opposite direction while he still had the chance. It had been tempting, but in the end, his heart pulled him back.

Whatever pulled at his heart, pulled hard, and left him with no choice.

And when their eyes met for the first time in a year, Aaron knew he couldn’t outrun his feelings anymore.

“Robert.” Aaron leaned against the door frame, crossed his arms over his chest, and just stared.

Robert stepped closer. “Aaron.” He wanted to crush Aaron against him and never let go, but for now, he needed to keep his distance.

“You showed.”

“I said I would."

"Well you haven't exactly been honest in the past, so you'll have to forgive me for doubting you."

“Daddy?” A little boy crept out from behind Aaron, in dinosaur pajamas and clutching a stuffed bunny.

Robert’s heart caught in his throat as he knelt down. “Seb.”

And when Seb launched himself into Robert’s arms, Robert knew he had made the right decision.

No words were needed. The tears of both father and son spoke volumes.

Aaron tried to hide the smile, but it broke out before he could stop it and a little bit more of his hard shell began to crack.

Robert saw it, and he knew this moment made everything worth it. All of the pain, all the suffering, the year he spent behind bars.

_ I’m home. _


	5. Chapter 5

Seb laid in his bed, underneath fresh soft sheets, his arms curled tight around Charlie, his favorite stuffy and constant companion.

He loved waking up in his new bedroom with the pale blue walls and all of his new toys. Without a care in the world, he could finally sleep like a baby and wasn't constantly waking up during the night when he heard a sound or when a nightmare made its way into his subconscious.

He hadn't had one of those dreams in days.

Scary monsters didn't lurk in the shadows in Aaron's house like they had at his mum's. Aaron made him feel safe. And even when he did have a bad dream, Aaron's bedroom was just down the hall and he didn't mind when Seb crawled into his bed. Aaron wouldn't say a word, he would just pull Seb close and hold him until he was no longer afraid.

And now his dad was back in his life, too. It had been almost a week and every day was always a new adventure. But it was the awkwardness that lingered in the air every time Robert and Aaron were in the same room together that had Seb scratching his head.

Seb didn’t understand it.

They loved each other, didn’t they? They sure acted like it, Seb thought. And the picture on the mantle that had been taken the day they got married, they sure looked like it then, too. But that had been three years ago, long before Daddy went to prison and Aaron went off the deep end. According to his mum, anyway.

He sometimes overheard them talking when they thought he was asleep. Robert was always calm while Aaron appeared to be aggravated every time Robert opened his mouth. Seb worried that Aaron would explode at any minute he seemed so mad. And he was always stewing about something that Robert had done that had contributed to the ending of their marriage. Robert wanted Aaron to forgive him, but Aaron said he needed more time to sort everything out in his head before he could even think about forgiveness.

Why did he need time? And what did Robert need to be forgiven for? Seb wondered. Why couldn't they just get on with it?

His dad came over every day to visit him, but he had his own flat down the road so he never stayed. Robert always tried to get Aaron to join them on whatever they were going to do that day, but Aaron always found an excuse to leave the house. Aaron said it was to give father and son time alone together, but Seb just thought that was just a lie to get out of an uncomfortable situation. Aaron couldn't even stand close to Robert, every time Robert tried to bridge the gap between them, Aaron took a step back, putting even more distance between them.

Seb didn’t understand why they were acting like this or why they didn't all live together. They were married, weren’t they? Cole’s dads were married and they lived in the same house.

And his dad always looked a little bit sad when he looked at Aaron, while Aaron wore a scowl that seemed to be a permanent fixture on his face. It made absolutely no sense to him why they acted that way when they were obviously so miserable without each other.

They were terrible at pretending they weren't, Seb thought. They belonged together, and even at four Seb could see that.

_ You’d think Daddy Aaron would be as excited as I am to have Daddy Robert back _ , Seb thought.

Something was missing. He saw it every time he looked at Aaron when Aaron wasn’t even aware he was being watched. It was obvious Aaron missed Robert, so what were they trying to accomplish by being so distant with each other?

If they weren’t going to do anything about it, it was up to him, Seb decided. Why grownups had to make things so complicated boggled his mind.

Maybe they just needed some time alone, Seb thought, so he devised a plan. He just needed a co-conspirator and he knew just the person to help him.

Cole was eager to help when Seb explained his plan the next day when Cole came over to his house for a play date. Over cookies and milk, with cartoons playing in the background on the tv, Seb announced that he was going to get his parents back together.

“Yeah?” Cole had said, intrigued. “How are you going to do that?”

“They need time alone,” Seb decided as he grabbed another cookie, ignoring the cartoons on the tv set. He had much more important things to think about than the Smurfs. “I’m thinking maybe you could ask your dad if I could come over for a sleepover, you know to give them some time together without me around. Maybe then they’ll stop acting so dumb.”

“We could watch movies and eat popcorn,” Cole said, warming up to the idea.

The plan was formed, now they needed to put it into action. And he knew just what to do.

* * *

“I thought we could go to the zoo,” Robert said the next morning as he watched Seb finish his breakfast. He tried to avoid looking at Aaron, who was doing his best to ignore his very existence and trying to thwart his every attempt at trying to smooth things over between them. Every day it seemed like the distance between them was only amplifying. He wasn't sure how much more he could take.

Seb finished his cheerios and grabbed his favorite stuffed bunny off the table. "Yeah? Can Charlie come too?"

Robert lifted Seb up in his arms. "Of course he can."

"I can't wait to see the monkeys and the tigers and the lions," Seb said. 

Robert sent Aaron a look over Seb’s head. “I’ll bring him back before it gets dark.”

Aaron picked at a piece of imaginary lint on his shirt, sipped coffee that had gone cold. "Fine."

"Go get your jacket, sport," Robert said.

After Seb raced up the stairs, Robert turned to Aaron. "You can't keep doing this."

"What you on about?"

"While I love your snarkiness and your attitude at times, now isn't one of them. If this is going to keep up, there's no point in me coming around here trying to make things right between us. If I'm too late, if you can't get past what happened, you need to tell me so we can stop wasting each other's time."

"You want to give up? There's a shock." Aaron rolled his eyes. "Do what you want, Robert. I told you I need more time, and if you can't give me that well you know where the door is."

"I'm trying here, Aaron. I don't want to give up on us, but I just don't know what else to do."

"Seb's caseworker is coming tomorrow," Aaron said, changing the subject. "We need to put on a united front."

"You mean pretend everything is fine between us when it isn't."

"It's just for one night. Seb needs to be our priority, Rob. While I still don't know where things stand with us, the one thing I do know is we both love Seb and want to keep him happy and safe."

"What do you think I've been trying to do? I'm trying to make an effort here, with both of you. You're both all that matters to me."

"He loves having you back," Aaron murmured.  _ So do I,  _ his heart longs to say, but he's not ready to say it out loud.

Seb came barrelling down the stairs. "I'm ready," he announced. "Oh dad," he said, looking at Aaron. "Cole asked me over for a sleepover tonight. His dad said it was alright. So can I go?"

"I can drop him off there later," Robert offered. "If you're okay with him going."

"I guess it would be alright," Aaron said. "I'll call Cole's dad when I get to the office and work it out."

"Thanks, Dad!" Seb hugged Aaron, and grinned behind his back. "You should take dad out for dinner."

"What?" Aaron said, pulling back, a helpless look on his face.

"You've barely had any time together since dad got back," Seb said. "I think he feels left out. So maybe you should take him out for dinner, and you know, talk or whatever you want. Maybe catch a movie."

Robert tried to hide his smile. He was both amazed and baffled at his son's scheming ways. "I think that's a good idea. How about 7?" he said to Aaron.

Aaron knew when he was backed into a corner. He didn't like it but it was too late to try and maneuver his way out of it. It was impossible to say no when he had two slick, calculating Sugdens on his hands. "Fine. But you pick me up. And nothing fancy."

"It's a date." Robert slipped his hand in Seb's. "Ready to go?"

"Let's go!"

Seb had known they would fall for it. Now it was up to them.

He hoped his parents didn't screw this up. He could only do so much.

Aaron was relieved when the door closed behind them. It would have been easier to say just forget it, come up with a last-minute emergency that he couldn't get out of to avoid going out with Robert.

But the truth was, he didn't want to get out of it. He wanted Robert, and he was getting tired of denying it. And maybe tonight they could start trying to put the broken pieces back together.

Maybe it was time to put an end to all of the bull shit.

He was tired, so tired of pretending he could handle watching Robert walk away again if that's what it came down to.

_ You couldn't handle it. You barely survived the first time. _

Was his pride worth this much pain? Was it worth the gamble if it forced Robert to walk out of his life for good this time?

No. His heart couldn't take it. He had thought he needed more time, but with the reality of losing Robert staring him in the face, he was left with no choice but to face the undeniable truth.

He still loved Robert.

He had harbored the anger and resentment for so long until there was nothing left to feel but the emptiness that Robert's absence had left in his heart. What was the point anymore? Robert was here, he'd made sacrifices to be here, and what was he doing? Being withdrawn and still blaming Robert for everything because it was easier than facing the truth? He was as much to blame. He shouldn't have let Robert shut him out. He should have tried harder.

They'd wasted so much time already; why were they still going around in circles?

They had been through worse than this, he thought. Maybe this was the push he needed. He would take Robert out for dinner, then they would put this charade to rest.

Who knew their son would be the one to help him see sense and use his clever matchmaking skills to bring them back together?


	6. Chapter 6

Aaron was already regretting his decision to cook and have dinner in his flat instead of making a reservation at a restaurant.

Sitting in a crowded restaurant wouldn’t give them the privacy they needed to have the conversations that were long overdue.

But he was nervous, Aaron admitted to himself, as he grabbed a chilled bottle of wine from the fridge and placed it in a bucket of ice.

He took a deep breath, braced himself, and opened the oven. He had found what was claimed to be an easy recipe online for lasagna - and after only a few hiccups - had put it in the oven, only half an hour behind schedule.

_ Phew _ , he thought when the pasta showed no signs of being burnt.

Robert had always been an expert in the kitchen. Aaron had been lucky if he could make a sandwich without cutting his finger.

He glanced down at his watch, calculated that he only had about ten minutes before Robert would show up, and lifted the salad he’d prepared earlier from the fridge and placed it on the table next to the wine.

He rolled up his shirt sleeves when the oven beeped and took the lasagna out of the oven. He had managed to follow the simple recipe, and it actually smelled appetizing, he thought. The cheese was bubbling hot and the pasta appeared to be cooked, so Aaron considered it a success.

He just finished lighting two candles on the table when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

As soon as he walked in, Robert could smell the aroma of pasta sauce and cheese lingering in the air. "Did you cook?" Robert draped his jacket on the back of the couch, eyed the dinner Aaron had laid out on the kitchen table. Impressed, Robert took the glass of wine Aaron offered him. 

"Don't act so surprised. I have a lot of hidden talents." Aaron gestured to the table. "I promised you dinner, didn't I? You going to join me or what?"

Over lasagna, that Robert had to admit was delicious, and three glasses of wine, Robert and Aaron talked. They joked about Seb's obvious attempt at matchmaking. Aaron went into detail on how he ended up with custody of Seb, which turned Robert's stomach into knots. Aaron updated Robert on everything that had happened in Emmerdale including the birth of Eve and Harry and how he'd turned down multiple offers to sell the scrapyard. Robert began to wonder how long Aaron really planned on staying here. He just couldn't see Aaron never returning to Emmerdale when he had family there who were missing him and a business that still needed him.

And after avoiding it for long enough, they dove into the subject they both had been dreading - Robert's time in prison and how Aaron had failed to cope.

"Do you regret what happened?" Aaron asked him.

"I don't regret hitting him," Robert admitted. "But I regret what it did to us, our future. I wasn't in the best headspace back then. I couldn't see anything but making Lee pay for what he did to Vic. I regret that it took me from you, and from Seb. That's what I struggled with."

"It made you feel in control, taking him down like that. You wanted to make him pay because you hate seeing someone you love hurt. But there was never going to be anything you could do to fix what happened to Vic. And when the police failed to put him behind bars, you decided it was up to you to make sure he got what he deserved. But you're not God, Rob. You should have just left him alone."

“It wasn’t like that, exactly.” Obviously uncomfortable, Robert shifted in his seat. “I always had this powerful need to succeed, to be the best, that's true. But the truth is I just wasn't thinking straight that day. All I could think about was making him pay.”

“You always had the potential and the brains, but you had a weakness for making stupid decisions without thinking them through.”

“I had all these big plans. For me, for us, and they never quite panned out. I wanted to give you everything, and it was hard for me to settle for less.”

“You didn’t need to give me everything. I just wanted you.”

“And that should have been enough for me, but I guess it wasn’t." Robert sipped more wine. "But it is now. You and Seb are all that matters to me. That's why I'm here. If this is where you’re staying, then so am I. Don’t you get that yet? Where you are, that’s where I want to be, even if you’re being stubborn about it.”

“I’m not being stubborn,” Aaron said, swallowing the tightness in his throat. “Just being cautious.”

“Because you’re worried that I’ll walk out on you again. But I’m not going to do that. It wasn’t my choice, Aaron, at least not one that I wanted to make. Trust me, I know I should have handled things differently, but I can’t go back in time and change it can I? All I can do now is try and make it up to you, show you that I'm not going anywhere. Whatever I need to do to prove that to you, just tell me and I'll do it.”

“You don’t know what it was like. Worrying about you every day, wondering if you were alive or dead. I just wanted to talk to you, make you listen. Make you see that you didn’t need to end things between us just because you were in prison. You didn’t want that kind of life for me? That was my choice to make, not yours. That day I lost my husband and I couldn’t forget you no matter how hard I tried. I brought strangers into our home, had sex with them hoping it would help the pain. I felt so numb, I just needed to feel something, anything that kept me from turning on myself and ending it all. Believe me, I thought about it.”

“Aaron.” Racked with guilt, and envisioning Aaron in bed with another man, Robert drank more wine, trying to erase the image from his mind.

“No reason for you to be jealous.”

“I’m not jealous. I just don’t like picturing other men with their hands all over you.”

“That’s what you wanted though, isn’t it? For me to move on.”

“What it just sex? Or did you---”

“Love them? Of course not. Don’t be absurd. I just…” Aaron trailed off, tried to gather his thoughts. “I wanted to hurt you like you had hurt me.”

“Did it make you feel better fucking other men in our bed?” Robert blocked his path when Aaron tried to leave the room, grabbed his arm. “No, we’re in the middle of having a conversation, you’re not walking away from me.”

Aaron narrowed his eyes. “You did. And I don’t appreciate the third degree about how I tried to deal with the pain of losing you. I don’t even know why you care. As far as I knew you had washed your hands of me, and I could sleep with whoever I wanted since my marriage was over.”

“I’m sorry, I understand that you were angry with me, it’s just imagining with someone else with their hands on you---"

“If you hadn’t had been so stupid, we wouldn’t have been a part in the first place. I would have been upstairs in our bed with you, not random strangers. It was you who decided to hit Lee with a fucking shovel and ruin everything we had worked for. We were so close to having everything we wanted, but you ruined that. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“You know I thought for a minute we could get through this but now…” He stood up, pushed the chair back with a thud. “I can’t keep doing this. Do you want to keep blaming me for the end of our marriage? Fine, I get it. It was my fault. But you made mistakes, too.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You never even tried to come and see me.”

Jagged, unforgiving spears felt like they were cutting into his skin. “I called the prison a dozen times! They wouldn’t tell me anything. They wouldn’t even tell me if you were okay. I spent months wondering what I had done to make you want to cut me off like that. If I had known you were having second thoughts, I would have driven down there and banged on the door until they let me see you.”

“But you didn’t, did you?”

“I didn’t think you cared anymore.” Aaron started to pile up dishes and put them in the sink, keeping his back to Robert. He couldn’t look at him right now without crumbling and falling into his arms. “You did a real bang-up job of making me believe that, and now finding out that that wasn’t the case? I feel horrible about it. I wish I had tried harder.”

“No don’t. Everything that happened, that’s on me. I shouldn’t have said those things. I’m the one that refused to talk to you, I’m the one that sent those divorce papers. And maybe because I knew how stubborn you are I secretly hoped that you would still try and see me, even after what I did.”

“I did try once,” Aaron said, surprising them both at admitting the real truth. “Got as far as the front door before they turned me away. I demanded that they let me see you, but they wouldn’t. I drove all that way when I found out you were transferred, and they wouldn’t even let me through the front door.”

Robert put his hands on the counter, caging Aaron in, and turned him around. He dipped his head a little lower, hovered. “I wish I had known.”

“Why?” Aaron could feel his control slipping. “Would that have changed anything?” Aaron’s tone told Robert he doubted it.

“I don’t know,” Robert admitted. “I was a mess back then. But now? I wish I could back in time and change it.”

Aaron tried to think, to consider the consequences. But there were times when needs, desire, and lust simply overpowered logic. “Hell,” he muttered and, cupping his hands at the back of Robert’s neck, dragged his mouth down on Robert’s.

It was exactly what he wanted. Hungry and fierce and mindless. Robert’s mouth was hot, and it was hard, and it was almost heathen as he crushed down to devour Aaron’s. Aaron gave in to it, gave all to it, a moment’s madness where body ruled mind and blood roared over reason.

“Christ.” Robert’s breath was gone, his mind was reeling. Reflexively, his hands dug into the counter before he jerked them away and had them all over Aaron.

Whatever he’d expected, whatever he’d imagined didn’t come close to the volcano that had so suddenly erupted in his arms. He dragged a hand through Aaron’s hair, fisted it there, then plundered as if his life depended on it.

“Can’t,” Aaron managed, but his arms wound around Robert. His moan was a rumble of desperate longing that sounded in his throat exactly where Robert’s teeth nipped, then scraped, then dug greedily into flesh. Aaron dragged him closer. Oh, God, he wanted more. He found Robert’s mouth with his again, plunged blindly into the next kiss.

Just one more, Aaron promised himself, meeting, matching Robert’s reckless demand.

No one else had ever filled him so quickly, so completely, so utterly as Aaron always had.

“I want you.” It was a plea, and Robert had never in his life wanted anyone, man or woman, like this.

Aaron wanted him, too. It would be so easy to take and be taken. But easy, Aaron knew, was rarely right. They were both angry and had drank a little too much wine

“No. Not now.” Regret smothered Robert even as he lifted his hands to frame Aaron’s face. For a moment longer, his mouth stayed on Aaron’s. “Not yet. Not like this.”

“Are you serious? Rob, why are you fighting me? We both want this.”

“Not like this,” Robert said again. “We’ve both said things to each other tonight we regret. Sex isn’t going to erase them. I think we both need some time to think about what we really want.”

“I already know what I want. I want you, I always have.”

Robert’s hand was unsteady as he grabbed his jacket off the back of the couch. He didn’t dare touch Aaron now. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop.

He stopped at the door, turned around. “I want you too, but if I don’t leave right now, we’re going to end up upstairs and you’re going to regret it in the morning.”

“What are you going on about? I wouldn’t regret it, I never have. I’m sorry for what I said. I guess everything has been bottled up for long it just exploded. I don’t want to keep rehashing the past. You’re here now and that’s all that matters. Rob." Aaron reached for him, but Robert was already halfway out the door. "Don't do this. Please don't leave."

“Don’t apologize for telling me how you feel, I'm glad you did. It's the only way we can make this work. But just now we were ready to tear each other's clothes off. I don't want to make love with you - and trust me it killed me to stop us heading in that direction - but I need you to be sure this is what you want. I want you more than anything. Trust me, I'm not leaving because I want to." Robert grabbed Aaron's hand, held it for a second before letting go. "Think about it.” He slammed the door behind him, leaving Aaron alone.


	7. Chapter 7

Aaron couldn’t think about anything but that kiss. He could still feel the taste of Robert on his lips.

Shit, what had he done?

After twenty minutes pacing the kitchen and muttering oaths under his breath, he gave up on trying to be sensible and grabbed his coat, leaving the mess in the kitchen behind.

_ The hell with it _ , he thought as he walked to Robert’s flat, undeterred by the voice in his head warning him he was about to do something stupid, something very, very stupid.

He banged on the door, then fumed when there was no answer.

_ Typical,  _ he thought, his insides tightening with anger.

He was probably somewhere sulking, Aaron decided. So he would go find him, let Robert yell at him, get it all out of his system. Then he’d say what he needed to say so they could put this ridiculous argument behind them.

He ignored the nerves dancing around in his stomach and knocked louder, banging his fist on the door for emphasis.

“Damn it, Robert. Open the damn door. This is stupid.” He bit back an oath when Robert still didn’t answer.

He hadn’t been completely honest, he admitted to himself. Not with Robert, and not with himself. He had been getting good at maintaining a tough front, pretending that he didn’t miss everything they’d once shared. And tonight he had let the pretenses fall, and Robert walked out on him.

He was so tired of these games. Their lack of communication had always been a motivating force behind most of their hurdles in the past, but after the fighting and yelling had tapered off, there had always been mind-blowing sex that followed that had made up for it.

But now maybe too much time had passed. Maybe it was too late.

Aaron’s heart caught in his throat when Robert finally answered the door.

Insecurity was not a feeling Robert was used to, and it definitely wasn’t a feeling he was comfortable with. But the truth was he did feel insecure, and hearing Aaron's admission that he had been with other men, had only amplified his vulnerability. He had made too many mistakes, ruined all of the plans they had made, what had he expected Aaron to do? Sit around be celibate for the rest of his life?

He had always been overconfident, even a little cocky and he had always been able to rely on his charm to get what he wanted, but when it came to Aaron, he wasn't any of those things. 

He loved Aaron more than anything, but, Robert admitted, his way of showing it left a lot to be desired.

“You’re just going to turn away from a fight because it could get messy? Well, fuck that. When did we ever let a fight get in the way of working things out? I’m not letting you just walk out on me. Never again. We’re going to work this out whether you want to or not.”

“What are you talking about? I thought you wanted me to leave. You’re the one that stopped the kiss first. It was bad timing, Aaron. Maybe it’s too late for us.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Aaron said. “Rob please, I’m sorry. I just, I just have missed you so much and I guess I needed someone to blame. Instead of facing my feelings for you, I blamed you for everything. You’re right, we both made mistakes, but I don’t want to lose you. I can’t go through that again.”

Robert couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How had Aaron gotten that from their kiss? “Are you crazy? I don’t know how many times I have to tell you how sorry I am, how much I love you. I’m as in love with you now as I was the day I married you, if not more. And god, I want you. I want you more than anything, I told you that. If you need me to say it a thousand more times for you to believe it, I will.”

“Then why did you stop the kiss?”

"I told you I didn't want you to regret it in the morning, I couldn't stand it if you did. Aaron,” Robert said, closing the gap between them, his fingers reaching out to touch Aaron’s arm. “I couldn’t handle it if I lost you again. I don’t want to screw this up.”

“I don’t either.”

“Aaron, we’ve been doing the same dance since I got here. Can we just stop? We both know if it hadn’t been for me screwing everything up and going to prison, we would still be living in Emmerdale, and we’d probably have that family we both wanted. Be pissed at me that we don’t have that. Yell at me, hit me if it’ll make you feel better, I won’t stop you. I don’t care, I just want you to stop bottling it up. I’ve been honest with you about how I feel.”

“Don't say anything, just listen. I'm so tired of pretending that I don't still want you, that I don't love you when I do. So let's stop running around in circles and just agree that we're rubbish without each other. We always have been. Let's leave the past where it belongs and start again. You, me, and Seb. That's what I want and I think you want that too. I just want----"

Robert took a step closer until he had Aaron completely caged in. “What do you want?” he whispered, his breath hot against Aaron’s neck.

“You. Damn it, I want you.” He could feel the need vibrating in his bones. “Come home with me and I’ll show you.”

* * *

The minute they stepped back inside Aaron's flat, Aaron had Robert pressed up against the wall. "You have five seconds to tell me you don’t want this before I get my hands on you.”

Robert could only stare at him. “I want everything you just said back there,” he managed, desire already clouding his brain.

His pulse was hammering everywhere at once. The way Robert was looking at him, just that one, long, intense and calculating stare before he smiled, had brought out his need, a low and unrelenting ache of need. He smiled slowly.

Robert’s heart was already pounding as he took a step forward. He needed to look into Aaron’s eyes, wanted to see every shift and flicker of emotion. “Be sure this is what you want. I’m not walking away a second time, I couldn’t handle it. The first time nearly killed me.”

“I wouldn't have practically dragged you back here if I wasn’t sure. Trust me, I’ve never been so sure about us as I am right now.”

With a slow curving of his lips, Robert put his hands on Aaron’s hips. The kiss quickly turned desperate, tongues tangling, teeth nipping. The moans that sounded in Aaron’s throat were straight to his head like hot whiskey.

Aaron tugged Robert’s shirt free of his waistband, then his hands shot under. Flesh and muscle, he needed to feel it. It had been forever. He scraped and stroked until that flesh seemed to burn under his fingers, and those muscles hardened like iron, transporting him back to another time, the last time they had been together like this, when the fire between them had been as hot as it was now.

Robert closed his teeth over Aaron’s jaw and didn’t bother to be gentle as he fumbled with unbuttoning Aaron’s shirt. His head was swimming as they made their way upstairs and bumped into the bedroom door.

They took each other to the staggering edge of reason and insanity as they fell to the bed.

The need for each other was too strong, and at that moment, for both of them, it was all that mattered.

Robert dragged off Aaron’s shirt and dug his nails into the hard ridge of his shoulders. Aaron’s skin was hot and smooth under his roaming hands. There were scars, a few he had never seen before along his ribs.

“It’s not what you think,” Aaron said looking up at him.

They could talk about it later, Robert decided. They had more important things to concentrate on right now. “Okay,” he said. “Just promise me you’ll tell me if I hurt you.”

Aaron just wanted to forget about everything and lose himself in this feeling, the feeling of Robert, his touch, his heartbeat against his own.

He couldn’t live without this, he thought. Not anymore.

“I want you.” Robert brought Aaron’s hands up until they circled his neck, brought his mouth down. “I want you under me, over me, wrapped around me.”

_ Like it used to be. _

Shadows shifted as the sunset through the windows. Aaron’s lips grew hungry, restless, as they raced over Robert’s face, his throat. The need was unbearable. The desire to take, to possess, to own, surged violently in his already raging blood.

They could have everything. They would have everything.

Aaron was rougher than he meant to be as he pushed Robert back on the bed. He locked his hands with Robert’s and watched as Robert’s eyes turned dark.

“I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.” And once more, Robert crushed his mouth to Aaron’s.

They wanted it fast, but they didn’t want it to end. Aaron could feel Robert’s heartbeat lurch as he used his teeth, tongue, lips to taste, to pleasure them both.

They rolled over the bed, clawing, tugging at the clothes that remained between them. Their breath was quick and labored, illuminated by half gasps and low moans.

Sensation slid over sensation, building trembling layers towards frenzy. Robert shuddered under Aaron’s hands, as each new lash of pleasure whipped through him.

Then they went mad.

“I’m thinking we need to try that again. I’m not sure we gave it our best shot.”

“Oh?” Robert stroked his hands down Aaron’s back to his hips. “It felt pretty damn good to me.”

Aaron only grinned. “You’re so smug.”

“It was always like that. I could never get enough of you.”

“Yeah I know, I remember, but why don’t you show me again.”


	8. Chapter 8

Several photographs were displayed around Aaron’s flat, but it was the one on the bedside table right next to where Robert was laying that caught and held his attention the next morning. Behind the photograph, which was embedded inside a simple black frame, Robert noticed a small silver box with the words “10.05.18” in gold letters.

He meant to ask Aaron about it last night, but they'd gotten....distracted.

He ignored the little voice that hissed  _ coward _ inside his head all those months in prison after he had let Aaron go.

_ You did it for his own good. _

_ Yeah, I know but look where it got us. Torn apart. Again. _

_ But you have him back now, so don't ruin it. _

The shock of his betrayal had left Aaron in a state of cold, unyielding rage. And Robert could hardly blame him. 

He had broken his vows, neglected his husband, and for what? For his own foolish pride?

_ Let it go,  _ his mind warned him. 

He still couldn’t believe that he was here, that Aaron had shown up on his doorstep last night. He’d been caught off guard, and there had been nothing short of an earthquake swallowing him up whole that would have prevented him from taking Aaron’s hand and following him back to his flat.

With only his wounded heart as a pitiful weapon, he had been defenseless against the spear thrust of desire. 

Waking up to find Aaron sleeping soundly beside him, wrapped up in the grey and yellow blanket, snoring softly, his mouth half-open, just reminded him how much he had missed this, just knowing Aaron belonged to him, that he could wake up every day for the rest of his life to his husband in bed beside him. How many times had he dreamed about this moment? It was still surreal.

He wanted to enjoy it, savor it.

Images flashed through his mind from last night. Both his mouth and his hands had been hard, possessive the minute they were on Aaron. He could only think about claiming what was his. His breath had been ragged when he jerked back. He had tugged Aaron's jacket off his shoulders, tossed it aside before he crushed Aaron's body to his again.

They had kicked themselves of their clothes and fallen to the bed. Labored breathing, the tangle of tongues, drove them both. It was a battle both of them had already surrendered to. The first time had been hot and hard and hurried, fast and frenzied and frantic.

The way Aaron's hands had streaked over him, bringing him to that tenuous edge over and over again had left him trembling.

He had felt the need blast through Aaron, he could taste it each time their mouths met, the ravenous hunger.

Then Aaron had rolled him other ruthlessly onto his back and drove them deeper into oblivion.

He hadn't been able to breathe. Or to think. He could only  _ feel.  _ They both felt dozens of wounds heal.

He had swallowed every flicker of shock and pleasure, every tremble of lips. Love for Aaron swamped him. All but destroyed him.

Then Aaron's eyes had opened, remained blind with passion and love. He felt Aaron's body quake under his, saw those eyes glaze. He had been powerless to stop himself from following him over the edge.

Later when they were curled together in bed, Robert had whispered, "I love you." 

It had always been easy to say the words when they didn't count. He had never meant them before - not before Aaron walked into his life all those years ago and changed everything he had ever known. He was still pretty sure he had fallen in love with Aaron five minutes after he met him. It had been the hardest thing to admit to himself back in those days when he'd been fighting so hard to be someone else.

"There's no way I would have gone through everything we went through if I wasn't still wildly, stupidly, and completely in love with you."

"Say it again," Robert had said, as he framed Aaron's face with his hands. "Look at me and say it again." He needed to hear it, he needed to know that despite everything he had put Aaron through, that Aaron had never stopped loving him.

"I love you," he had murmured against Robert's mouth, then poured the words into the kiss. "Life's going to be messy, it always is with us, but I still wouldn't want to spend mine with anybody else. I'm not letting you give up on us again."

Their private declarations of love led to them making love again. And again. Until they were both spent.

They could finally start over.

He had single handily turned his life, and Aaron’s, upside down, but after last night, they were finally on the right track. Life had certainly thrown a monkey wrench into their plans a year ago, but now they had a real chance to start over. He was determined not to screw it up this time.

Nothing, not even time, had altered the bond, the love they shared.

The past was the past. He couldn't back in time and change it, he couldn't fix his mistakes. But they could move forward.

Enough dwelling on the past, he thought, and instead indulged himself watching the man lying beside him, who was still sleeping soundly. The bedsheets were rumpled, Aaron’s fingers curled against them as he slept. Robert felt a smug smile tug at the corners of his mouth. He couldn’t’ stop staring at every line of Aaron’s lean, hard body that the white bedsheets barely concealed. There had always been something about him, and even now years later, Robert still couldn’t put his finger on it. He just knew it was there and the powerful need to stake his claim had been stronger than ever.

This man was all his. And that fact overshadowed all the pain they'd both gone through the past year.

Reluctantly, he left Aaron alone in bed and made his way downstairs. He’d promised Vic he would call and he’d put it off for too long already.

She answered on the third ring. “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for two days.”

“Sorry Vic, I’ve been a bit busy.”

“So?” Vic said impatiently. “What’s going on? You sound happy. Tell me everything.”

“I don’t really want to get into details of my private life.”

“Oh please,” Vic said with a sigh. “That never stopped you from interfering with my personal life. How is Aaron? And Seb?”

“They’re both fine.” Robert tried to skirt around the obvious question.

“And you and Aaron?”

“We’re fine.”  _ We're perfect, he's perfect. We had sex three times last night.  _

Vic sighed again. “I need a little bit more than that.”

“Vic,” Robert said carefully. “I’m not coming back.”

“What do you mean you’re not coming back?”

“To Emmerdale.”

“What?”

“I’m staying here. With Aaron and Seb.”

"Rob---"

"Seb's social worker is coming by tonight. I'll have more information then. I don't know how long we're going to stay here or what the plan for the future is, I just know my future is with them."

"Did you and Aaron---"

Robert's mind wandered again to last night. Just thinking about it brought a grin to his face, along with flushed red cheeks. He wondered if his sister could sense it. "We're still trying to work things out, but yeah we're back together. I love him, Vic, I never stopped. And he still loves me, even though he should just tell me to go to hell after everything I put him through. This is where I want to be, Vic, where I need to be. I've lost so much time with him already, and Seb. I'm not leaving them."

"And no one would expect you to. I was just hoping that now you've seen him and talked to him that you could convince him to come back home."

"I'm leaving it up to Aaron. He's Seb's legal guardian and he's our main concern. Aaron and I, we could live anywhere and be happy, but Seb's been here for months with Rebecca. Like I said once I sit down and talk with his social worker I'll have a better idea of where we stand. If Seb tells us he wants to stay here, I'm not going to uproot him back to Emmerdale if he doesn't want to go."

"This was his home once too, remember? His family is here. People who love him."

"I know Vic. But I'm the reason Aaron left. He sold our home and left everything and everyone he loved behind because it hurt too much for him to be around memories of me. I need to show him that I've changed, that he can trust me, that our family comes first."

* * *

With a steaming cup of coffee in his hand, Robert stepped outside onto the patio.

The endless rolling hills, the blue horizon, wide and all-encompassing. It made him feel at home.

Robert stood near the doorway, his blond hair glistening in the morning sun. His eyes swept over Seb, who was running up the driveway.

Seb’s feet didn’t touch the ground as Robert picked him up and spun him around in the air, the wind tugging at his hair. “Dad,” Seb giggled. The sweet sound brought Robert’s movements to an abrupt halt. He had missed hearing Seb’s laughter. “Did you have fun with Cole last night?”

“We watched movies and ate popcorn. Cole’s dad made pancakes this morning,” Seb told him.

Robert raised an eyebrow. “Were they better than mine?”

Seb grinned. “No. No one makes blueberry pancakes better than you.” Seb took one look at his dad, and didn't even have to wonder why he was here so early. His dad was smiling; he didn't look sad anymore.

His plan had worked.

"Did you and dad have fun last night?"

Seb asked the question so easily, Robert had to laugh. "I know this is all still really new to you, having me here. If it makes you uncomfortable---"

"I want you here," Seb said. "I want you and dad back together. It's where you belong."

"It is?"

Seb nodded. "Everyone thinks so."

"Do they?"

"I remember Auntie Vic telling me that when I was younger. I don't really remember a lot from before, you know when I lived with you and dad but I remember dad being happy. That's what Auntie Vic told me, that he was happy when he was with you. That you made each other happy. Then you went away and he got really sad. Then mum wouldn't let me see him anymore. She said he was going down a dark path. Not really sure what that means but it didn't sound good."

No, it didn't. If Rebecca was here, he would strangle her. "Your mum never should have told you that. Your dad's a really strong person. I hurt him when I went away, but I'm not going to let him feel that sad ever again, I promise you."

"Does that mean you're going to stay together? Like for real this time?"

"Yeah, sport. That's exactly what it means." Robert put an arm around Seb's shoulder, ushered him inside. "Now why don't we go wake daddy up and go to the park?"


	9. Chapter 9

“Are you still in love with him?”

It was a silly question for his mum to ask, Aaron thought. “Yes.” And he felt awkward talking to his mother about it. What had started out as a simple “just calling to check up on you” had somehow turned into an awkward conversation about the status of his relationship with Robert. He didn't have to say that they were back together, but his mum had picked up on the change in his tone almost automatically.

With the phone nestled between his neck and shoulder, he rinsed dishes and tried not to roll his eyes at his mother’s intrusive questions. He watched the water run and drain. “But it’s different. We’ve both changed. But it’s better, I think. We’re in a good place.”

“Love just happens, it can’t be planned,” Chas murmured. She knew her son, had always known where his heart was despite the time and space that had nearly destroyed his marriage. “And you don’t just forget just because you’re apart.”

“You wanted me to get over him. You set me up on blind dates for god sakes. Now you’re being supportive of me and Robert? Where was this support when I needed it months ago, mum?”

“I was trying to protect you. I didn’t know he would get out so soon. If I had, maybe I wouldn’t have pushed you so hard to get out there and meet new people. I’m sorry, Aaron. Everything I did was only because I wanted you to be happy.” She’d given her actions a great deal of thought the last few weeks. “I realized I was wrong for trying to push you into relationships when you weren’t ready. I know you were never going to be ready, and I’m sorry I never really saw how unhappy you really were.”

It didn’t matter now, Aaron thought as he dried his hands and tucked his tongue in his cheek. “I’m not unhappy now, mum. That’s all that matters.” It was impossible to explain to anyone, the loneliness, the pain that had been too much to take. But on some level, she had understood even if she didn’t agree with it. “It took us a while to get here, but we’re here now and I’m not letting him go again. We’ve wasted so much time already. I shouldn’t have waited so long to let him back in.”

“But he still hurt you. You weren’t just going to let him back in just because he was back. You’re too stubborn, the pair of you, to make it easy on yourselves.”

“Some things never change, I suppose," Aaron said quietly.

“Are you nervous about tonight?”

His mum’s question caught him off guard. “Not really. I mean it’s the first time Anna is meeting Robert, but she knows about him and I’m sure Robert will put on the charm as he always does.”

“I’m sure,” Chas murmured. She wanted to ask him to come home, that he was missed, that she needed him, but didn’t voice them. “I miss you, you know. You and Seb. Even Robert.”

“Mum,” Aaron warned her.

“I know, I know.” She sighed, giving up. “I won’t say another word. Just come for a visit soon, okay? And bring that husband of yours with you, if you haven’t killed each other by then.”

Aaron rolled his eyes, shared a few more words with his mum before saying goodbye, and pocketed his phone.

After a busy afternoon at the park, just the three of them, Robert and Seb were in the backyard throwing a football around. Aaron could see them through the patio doors.

He smiled and left them alone.

_ My boys,  _ he thought as he headed upstairs to check on the laundry. His emotions had been in turmoil for months. But now, he thought as he folded Seb’s clothes and put them away in the dresser in his room, he was finally at peace with the way things were. In just a matter of days, everything had shifted, changed. And he was happy.

* * *

He had his husband back. And he had Seb. And after tonight, if all went the way he hoped, they would be a family again.

Anna liked Robert the moment she laid eyes on him. The way he shook her hand, the concern in his eyes, the way he kept his arm around Seb as the two of them built a castle out of lego.

Sitting in the kitchen, with the coffee Aaron had poured for her warming her hands, Anna observed a close moment between father and son as Seb got upset when he couldn't get two pieces to click together. Robert had patience, she thought as she watched him take Seb's tiny hands in his own and together they clicked the lego pieces together.

"You went with my advice then?" she said to Aaron. She hadn't missed the look that had passed between Robert and Aaron when she had first walked in, or the quick touch of hands.

It felt weird taking relationship advice from Seb's social worker, but Anna was easy to talk to that it almost felt natural. "We're back together." Aaron poured coffee into his own mug, took a sip. "I guess I knew the minute I sent that message back to him that this is where we would end up. We always find our way back here eventually. We never could stay apart very long." 

He smiled as he said it, she thought, as she followed him back into the living room. 

"Seb, why don't you go upstairs and play in your room so Daddy and I can talk to Ms. Ayners," Aaron said.

"Okay, but can we finish this tomorrow?" Seb asked Robert.

Robert smiled. "Of course we can."

"You're staying tonight, aren't you? You're not leaving again?"

Robert took Seb's hand and walked with him to the staircase. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise you."

Anna watched the smile that stretched across Seb's face as he ran up the stairs. "It's obvious how much he's missed you."

Robert took the spot beside Aaron on the couch, grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together. "I've missed him too. And this guy too," he said, looking at Aaron. It was impossible to hide their smiles when they looked at each other. 

"Seb hasn't had a hard time adjusting to life here," Anna said as she grabbed a notepad from her briefcase. "Honestly, I expected it to take more time for him to be comfortable with Aaron, and with you."

Robert had thought so too but they were both wrong. "I was outside playing with Seb today and he told some things. He feels guilty because he never wanted to live with Rebecca. He was still just a baby when Rebecca took him to live with her. We still had visits with him, but then I went to prison. I thought he would have forgotten all about me. He looked at me today and said he wished I had stayed. He told me about Leo, all the things he heard, everything he saw. I hate that I left him in that situation. If I hadn't---"

"Rob, don't," Aaron said.

"It needs to be said," Robert said. "I have so many things to make up for, to prove to him that I----"

“You don’t have anything to prove, Robert. To Seb or to me. You’re here now, that’s what counts," Aaron said.

“I just let her have him. I gave up my rights because I thought I was doing the right thing. How was I to know that she would cut you out of his life like that? She was trying to get back at me.” Robert had been sure of it, and it only spurred the anger stirring inside of him. He got up to pace. “I’m sorry Aaron, if I had known she would be so vindictive..”

Aaron grabbed Robert’s arm before he could stride past him. “Robert, stop. Look at Seb. He’s fine. Yeah, it’s going to be tough for a while as we get him into a routine with the two of us again, but he’s happy.”

“He told me something this morning,” Robert said quietly. “That he remembered living with us at the Mill, when he was younger. Just little pieces, but he remembers them. He remembers Vic telling him how happy you were when we were together. But then Rebecca told him that you were going heading down a dark path after I got locked up. He remembers us being a family, Aaron. That's how he remembers us. That's the part I want him to remember, not the part when I went away and left him."

“Let me remind you of something, in case you’ve forgotten. You’re an amazing dad to Seb. Yeah, we’ve made mistakes along the way, but now we have a chance to make them right. We have the chance to start over, without worrying about Rebecca and the way she always found a way to make us look unstable. She’s signed her rights over to me, and we’re still married. That makes us a family, legally. We have to forget about the past or this is never going to work.”

They had both forgotten Anna was in the room. She just sat there, jotting notes down on her pad. She didn't want to interrupt.

“I know. You're right." 

Anna watched them kiss, then cleared her throat.

"Robert," Anna said, interrupting their private moment. "Aaron is right. The past can't be changed but you have the chance to start again, build a solid foundation. And I can tell you From my conversations with Seb, he doesn't blame you for anything. All he wants is to be with his dads now. Both of them. He still needs counseling to deal with everything he went through with his mum and Leo, but he's not damaged, not like I expected him to be. Aaron has done a great job with him. And now you're here with him too, and that's all he wants. That's why I am recommending that we file the paperwork to make Seb a Dingle, officially."

"Sugden-Dingle," Aaron said.

Robert smiled, gripped Aaron's hand again. "Yeah?" 

"Yeah. We're still married Robert, and he's your son. Might as well make it official, yeah?"

"Yeah. I think he would like that." And so did he.

Aaron turned his attention back to Anna. “I just wish I had been there for Seb sooner. I wish I had known what was going on. Rebecca knew I would have dropped everything to be here if Seb needed me."

“There’s nothing you could have done,” Anna reassured him, reaching out a hand and placed it on top of his in support. “She had to be the one to make the decision to walk away from that relationship, and she didn’t.”

“Instead she chose to stay with him and let my son be subjected to witnessing abuse. She neglected him.” Robert slammed a fist on the table. “Did she even think about him at all? If she had, she would have called Aaron long before she did. She knew how much we loved Seb and if I wasn’t around Seb would have at least one father who would be there for him. She knew Aaron could offer him a stable home, a better life than the one she was providing him.”

“How or why Rebecca made those decisions, I can’t answer. All I can tell you for sure is Seb is going to need both of you. He’s never going to be able to forget everything he heard, everything he witnessed. It’s going to stick with him forever. I think Rebecca knew that and the guilt finally took over. She knew she was responsible for putting Seb into this situation by choosing to stay with someone who had not only abused her but had forever affected her son. In her own way, she was trying to protect him, she just waited too long.”

“And now she’s abandoned him,” Robert said bitterly. “Do you know what that’s going to do to him? He already had one parent walk out on him. What can I do to make him feel secure? So he knows that he's never going to lose us?”

“You didn’t choose to leave him,” Aaron reminded him, all the bitterness of his betrayal completely wiped from memory. He turned back to Anna. “What are we supposed to tell him when he starts asking questions? Your mum abandoned you because she chose her abusive boyfriend over you, her own flesh and blood?”

When he got older and could understand, would he rebel? Would he pick fights, go out looking for trouble? All the things he had done as a troubled teenager because he had felt abandoned, left in the cold to fend for himself?

“We’ll deal with it,” Robert told him. “We’ll help him get through it together. We’ll help him understand that none of this was his fault. We're going to give him everything he needs, and when the time comes we'll sit down with him and be honest with him. By then he will already have been with us for a long time and knows how loved he is that it won't matter that she's gone.”

"There was no way for either fo you to know anything like this would happen when you gave up Seb. Your actions speak clearly to your love for him.”

But Robert was focused on Aaron. “But I didn’t fight for my rights I gave them up. I gave him up. I knew I was going to prison and because she promised me she wouldn’t deny you access to him, I believed her and signed away my rights. What good would it do Seb to have a dad in prison that he might not ever see until he was a teenager? She tore him away from you. I had to hear about it from Vic. I wanted so bad to reach out to you, and I should have. Damn it, I should have let go of my pride and picked up the damn phone. Look at us now and look at Seb and tell me that none of this is my fault.”

“How could you know? I didn’t even know until I got a call from my lawyer telling me she was refusing to let me see Seb anymore. She said it was because she didn’t want me around him when I was being so withdrawn, too focused on losing you she said.”

“She didn’t know what she was talking about.”

“It was true.”

Robert could only imagine what that had done to him. “I promised Seb that he would always have you. I broke another promise to someone I loved.” He couldn’t bear to think about what would have happened to Seb if Aaron hadn’t been there, if he hadn’t dropped everything to rush to Seb before it was too late.

“We trusted that Rebecca would take care of him and keep him safe. There was no way for any of us to know this would happen.”

“Your husband is right,” she told Robert. “And what’s important now is that we stop the cycle and ensure Seb is happy and safe and from what I can tell that here, with the two of you, he is, and that’s what going down in my report.”

“He’s my son,” Robert said. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure he’s safe and no one ever hurts him again.” His eyes met Aaron's. "You and Seb are my family. I'm not going to let anything come before the two of you ever again."


	10. Chapter 10

Sleep was the last thing on Aaron’s mind as he walked Anna to her car and watched her drive away.

The night was clear, the sky full of stars. He slipped his hands in the pockets of his jacket and breathed in the night.

And saw Robert leaning against the door. “Seb’s asleep now. Had to read him three bedtime stories before he finally closed his eyes.” His dark shirt was rumpled and revealed the lines of a thin scar above his left elbow. Aaron remembered seeing it last night.

“Is that…” Aaron was almost afraid to ask.

“Courtesy of another inmate,” Robert said with a hint of annoyance. “When he found out I was married. To a man. Don’t worry, it’s the only scuffle I got into inside. He left me alone after I showed him what I could do with my fist.”

“Robert.” Aaron shook his head.

“It was during a really rough time,” Robert said. “I was having a hard time controlling my anger. I was missing you. It was your birthday.” Their eyes met. “I was so upset that I couldn’t be there, to celebrate with you.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, it wasn’t much of a birthday. I wasn’t exactly in the mood to celebrate turning a year older.”

“I’m sorry.” Frustration and sadness etched his face. “I remember calling Vic that day, one of the few times I picked up the phone to call anybody. I just needed to know you were okay.”

“What did she tell you?”

“She lied, told me you were fine. Said you were out on a date.”

“What? Robert, I wasn’t. Trust me, no one would have been interested in going out on a date with me. I was miserable and pissed. I wasn't exactly easy to be around,” Aaron murmured, remembering those dark days. They seemed so distant now. “But you know my family. There was no way they were going to let me stay at home and stew.”

“They throw you a big party at the pub?”

Aaron laughed because Robert knew his family so well. “Yeah. Mum tried to set me up that night, one of the first of many failed attempts.” Aaron looked up at the stars, closed his eyes. “I went to bed that night, alone. Don’t laugh but I had taken one of your old shirts and wrapped it around your pillow. It was the only thing that got me through nights like that.”

Guilt overwhelmed him. “Well, we’ll have to make sure your birthday this year is a lot happier. And every one after that.”

Aaron’s eyes, stormy now, latched onto Robert’s. “I was angry at you. So, so angry and I lashed out. Made a real mess out of everything, shut everybody out. All I could think about was you, locked up and alone. I never stopped caring about you or worrying about you.”

“I thought about picking up the phone a million times,” Robert said. Before he had remembered that part of his life was over, that he had lost his right to talk to Aaron, that he would just make things worse.

Aaron brushed a finger over the scar over his right eye. “I got into a fight. It was just after I got the divorce papers. I couldn’t handle it so I ran. Ended up at some sleazy bar. This guy tried to drag me back to his, and when we got there we…” Aaron stopped, shook his head, not wanting to relive the memory. “I got angry when I realized what I had done. I had just fucked a stranger because you sent me those stupid papers. I was so mad at myself and at you. He asked about the ring on my finger and I snapped.” He remembered the flash of anger in his own eyes that night, and the guilt he felt for betraying his husband. “He wanted me to take it off and I refused. I slugged him and ran out of there as fast as I could. Never heard from him again, thank god.” Aaron finally looked up at Robert. “I’m sorry, so sorry for betraying you. I just needed to forget that you were gone, that our marriage was over. I know I didn’t deal with it the right way and I lost control, but I…”

Robert silenced him with a kiss. "You don't get to talk about my husband like that." Then he wrapped his arms around Aaron and held him close. “You didn’t betray me. If anybody is to blame for what happened, it’s me. I don’t want you feeling guilty. You were the one that said we had to let go of the past, right? So that’s what we do. The both of us.”

“I went to Vic that night,” Aaron continued. “She fussed over me, cleaned me up. She let me cry, she listened to me. She knew that I wasn’t over you, she was the only one that understood how I felt. She was the only one that cared. Everybody else they just wanted me to go back to normal before all of this shit happened, but I couldn’t. How could they expect me to go back to being the man I was before when I had lost the other half of me?”

“Every time I talked about doing something crazy, she would stop me. She steered me in the right direction, told me things that I didn’t want to hear but that I needed to hear. I’ll always be grateful to her for that.”

“I talked to her today.” Robert paused. “She keeps asking me when I’m bringing you and Seb back to Emmerdale. I told her that we were staying here. But then tonight as I was tucking Seb in, he told me he wanted to go back.”

“He told you he wants to go back to Emmerdale?”

Robert nodded. It had surprised him too. “He misses Vic, even your mum, and Paddy. I told him I would talk to you about it, that we would have to make that decision as a family.”

“If Seb really wants to go back, we’ll go back. I only kept him out here because that’s what Rebecca told me he wanted. He’s made friends here, he’s comfortable here. I never thought for a second he would want to leave.”

“Me either, but he said he wants to be back with his family.” Robert rubbed Aaron’s arm. “We’re his family, but so is Vic, your mum, even Paddy. And they want him home, too. Look, I know it was because of me that you sold the Mill, that you came out here because of Seb. And I know there’s a good chance you’ll be mad at me, but I contacted the couple that bought the Mill and they’ve agreed to sell it to me for the right price.”

“You did what?”

“I built that house for us. The thought of another family living there breaks my heart. If you don’t want to go back there I completely understand. Nothing’s finalized yet. If you want to find somewhere….”

“I want the Mill.” Aaron’s admission surprised even himself. “I want our life back. I want it all back. I would live anywhere with you, but you’re right. I sold it in the first place because I couldn’t deal with all of the memories, the pain. It wasn’t a home after you left. But now….” He wrapped his arms around Robert’s neck. “You can make the call in the morning, yeah? It’s late and I just want to go inside and---”

“And what?” Robert whispered huskily into his ear as his teeth scraped over the rampaging pulse in Aaron’s throat.

The ache spread viciously. “Inside,” Aaron repeated.

* * *

With desire dark and dangerous in his eyes, Robert skimmed his gaze down, then back to Aaron’s face as he closed the door behind them. “I want us to have everything this time.” Slowly, his eyes on Aaron’s face, he backed Aaron against the wall. “Let’s start here,” he murmured, and his hand shot under Aaron’s shirt and nearly ripped it in half.

“Take more. You know you want to,” Aaron managed.

Robert was desperate to watch him take more, to see the excitement capture his face, to see those eyes go wild and blind.

Aaron gripped Robert’s shoulders for balance. With his head tipped back, Robert could see the pulse in his throat beat madly and was compelled to taste just there. Aaron moaned against him, moved against him, his breath hitching when Robert tore the rest of his shirt.

Aaron was helpless, staggered. The assault on his senses left his limbs shuddering and his heart hammering.

Robert used his teeth and nipped into Aaron’s shoulder. And his hands – oh, his hands were everywhere, driving Aaron toward madness, then beyond. Rough palms against skin, fingers pressing, sliding.

The wall was smooth and cool against his back; Robert’s hands were not. Aaron managed to open his eyes and realized that he was naked, and Robert was still fully dressed. He couldn’t say anything as Robert lifted his arms above his head and bracketed his wrists with one hand.

“Tell me you want more,” Robert whispered against his mouth.

“I want more,” Aaron managed.

Robert pressed their bodies together, rough denim against Aaron’s naked flesh. And the next kiss left them both wanting more.

Everything, Robert thought. He wanted everything and more was all he could think.

Aaron’s hands gripped Robert’s hair, as he pressed his face into the crook of his neck.

Robert managed to free himself, then pressed against Aaron. “I want you to look at me.” He panted the words out. Their twin groans tanged in the air as they made love against the wall.

Afterward, they walked upstairs and crawled into bed.

“Aaron.” Robert lowered his mouth. Tenderly, softly, lovingly. He couldn’t stop himself.

“What was that for?”

“Because I can.”

“I’m not complaining. I’ve missed this too.” With casual intimacy, Aaron stroked a hand over Robert’s hip. “We’ve both been waiting a long time. Let’s stop wasting time.” And when he looked into Robert’s eyes, he realized that he’d never stopped being over his head in love with this man, and he had been stupid to have ever thought otherwise.

“It’s not a race this time.” All he knew was he wanted slow, painfully slow, endlessly slow, so that he could savor every moment, every move, every moan.

He reached out, dimmed the lights. And in the dark, they took and they gave. They moved together slowly, breath tangling, gazes locked.

“Kiss me,” Robert demanded on one last, trembling breath.

So their mouths met, clung, as that last sweeping wave overpowered them.


	11. Chapter 11

He thought it would feel strange, moving back to Emmerdale, back into the Mill. Like nothing had changed, except it had.

He remembered the last time he stood inside this room; it had been a totally different feeling then. It was only a few months ago, but it felt like years.

So much had changed, but at the same time, everything was the same like they'd never left, like the last year had never happened at all. 

It was like stepping back in time, Aaron thought as he looked around the empty room that would soon be filled with furniture.

He had been so withdrawn, needing to escape the pain, the hopelessness of being surrounded by painful memories that only reminded him of everything he'd lost. 

But now, standing in the middle of the living room with Robert beside him, his hand in Robert's, and Seb in front of them clutching Charlie, Aaron realized that going through all of the grief, all of the pain, had made him stronger. He wasn't that guy anymore. And life was pretty fucking sweet right now. 

"Feels good to be home, yeah?" Robert said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah," Aaron said quietly.

"Can I go up to my room?" Seb said. "I want to show Charlie all my new toys."

"Sure, but be careful of all of the boxes. Don't trip," Robert said.

As they watched Seb run up the stairs, Aaron was again lost in memories of the past. Stuck in a trance, like he couldn't believe that he was back here, in this house, the place he had sworn only months ago he would never step foot in again. But this time he wasn't alone. Robert was here, he was real, not just a figment of his imagination. It wasn't a dream.

"Aaron?" Robert came up behind him and put his arms around Aaron's waist. 

"Hmm?"

"I was saying we should go upstairs." When Aaron raised an eyebrow, Robert laughed. "Not for that. God, you have a one-track mind I swear. I meant we should go up and finish putting the bed together. It's only half done."

"Right. Yeah, we should go up and do that."

"Are you okay? If this is too weird for you..."

"Just feels strange, that's all. When I packed up everything the last time, I never thought I would ever see this place again. Now we're here, but I'm not alone. I hated being alone," Aaron admitted quietly. Aaron started up the stairs before Robert could say anything. When they stepped inside their old bedroom, Aaron was reminded of a day not that far gone when he'd been taping up boxes of Robert's belongings and the last of his own when his phone rang. "The last time I was in this room Rebecca called me. I was in such a dark place and then she told me about Seb and everything changed." His voice grew quieter as he thought back to the moment his world had shifted. "I felt like my life was over. I had lost everything. The house was pretty much empty by that point and all there was left to do was pack your stuff. The stuff I kept. I just couldn't look at it anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"It was another time," Aaron said, dismissing the memory, not wanting to go back down that dark road. "Just the first thing I thought about when we walked in here, that's all. I'm fine now." He took Robert's hand. "You're here now. I don't have a reason to be sad like I was back then. Sorry, it's just being back here is bringing back all these memories. I didn't know I would feel so...nostalgic. I kinda hate it." He laughed then, and Robert thought it was the sweetest sound in the whole world. It had been a long time since he'd heard it.

"I like it," Robert said. "You being this way. I hate knowing how sad you were, but seeing you this happy now? This is what I wanted for you."

This bedroom had felt like a prison at the end, Aaron mused. It stopped being that sanctuary after Robert went to prison, the refuge where the two of them could be alone, the sacred place where they could shut the rest of the world out. After Robert had gone to prison, Aaron couldn't walk into the room without jabs of pain slicing into his chest. It had become just a constant reminder of the countless mornings he had woken up to find Robert curled up beside him, and the nights they stumbled on the bed and reached for each other, their bodies entangled like that's how they were meant to be. He gave up on trying to sleep in the bed, it just reminded him that everything had changed, that he wouldn't wake up to find Robert beside him, that those days were over.

That he didn't belong to anyone anymore. That he was alone.

It had been like living in a nightmare.

But he wasn't alone anymore, Aaron reminded himself as he watched Robert grab a screwdriver and scrunch his nose up in frustration.

They spent the next hour putting their new bed together before they fell back onto it, under the pretense of "testing it out" before Robert was pulling Aaron on top of him and crushing their lips together.

* * *

They settled back into life at the Mill, and in Emmerdale, like neither of them had ever left.

They got Seb enrolled into nursery, and he had made friends quickly, which didn't surprise either of his dads. Seb was a constant ball of energy, running around with a constant smile on his face. Looking at him you would never know what he went through with Rebecca and Leo.

Chas was already spoiling him rotten, and Vic had him over most weekends to give Aaron and Robert some time alone. 

And when Aaron and Robert decided to renew their vows beneath a wooden arbor laced with a canopy of white and blue flowers in their backyard, it was just the two of them, and Seb in a black tux holding the silver box engraved with "10.05.18" in gold letters that Robert had first seen in Aaron's flat behind a photograph of their second wedding that first night he had spent in Aaron's bed after their reunion.

They recited their own vows, words that expressed how grateful they were and how close they had come to losing each other. They had gone through hell and back together; there were no words strong enough to articulate how much they meant to each other, but they came close. Circumstances that would have torn any other couple apart, they overcame the odds and their love never wavered, it only intensified.

There was no hell they couldn't walk through as long as they walked together. 

They had learned that the hard way.

"I promise to be faithful and supportive and to always make our family's happiness my priority. I will dream with you, celebrate with you, and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring. You are my person - my love and my life, today and always," Aaron said as he held Robert's hands in his own and slipped the silver wedding band back on Robert's finger where it belonged. "I vow to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed, and to share in the silence when they are not. I vow to be giving and forgiving; to make you laugh and laugh at myself. I promise to love you every day. I don't know how not to. You're the love of my life, and I stand here today because of you. I wouldn't be the person I am today without you. After everything we've been through, I know without a doubt that we can get through anything."

Overcome with emotion, Robert slipped Aaron's ring back on his finger. "I vow to love you as you love me, through every hardship, darkness, and pain. We have gone through our fair share of turbulent waters, but this past year has been really hard. But you never gave up on us even when we were pushed to the brink. Your faith in me, in our love, never fails to amaze me. You have shown me what it means to love. I vow to share every joy, every hope, and always with honesty. I vow to be as much of a rock for you as you have been for me. I promise to never give up on us, even when times get tough. I promise to be your lover, companion, and your best friend. Your partner in parenthood, your ally in conflict, your biggest fan and your toughest adversary, your comrade in adventure, your consolation in disappointment, and your accomplice in mischief because you know how we are. Trouble always finds us, but as long as I have you by my side I know we can get through anything."

And they sealed their vows with a kiss, with Seb tugging on Robert's leg, covering his eyes. But he was grinning ear to ear.

Later that night, surrounded by friends and family, they celebrated.

Robert had been trying all night to sneak away with his husband, just a few quiet moments just the two of them, but every time he tried, someone interrupted.

Robert watched Aaron, his hands busy with making Seb a plate of fruit, crackers, and cheese from the table they'd set up on the patio. Once his plate was full, Seb rushed off in the direction of his sandbox, where Vic was sitting with Harry. Robert had a feeling his black tux was about to be covered in sand.

Finally, Aaron was alone, and he seized the opportunity before someone else had a chance to steal his husband away.

"What are you doing?" Aaron laughed as Robert pulled him inside and shut the patio door behind them. 

Robert shot a quick grin over his shoulder as he dragged Aaron up the stairs. "I want a minute alone with my husband." They didn't make it to their bedroom. Robert pushed him up against the wall in the hallway just outside their bedroom, closing the distance between them.

Aaron grinned back mischievously. "To do what?"

Robert could still hear the laughter outside and it made him smile. "I've wanted to get you alone all day."

"Yeah me too," Aaron said. "We're alone now."

"Until someone comes barging up here and interrupts us."

"Then let's not waste any more time." He wanted Robert, he knew he would never stop wanting Robert. Keeping his eyes locked on Robert's, he put his hands under Robert's shirt. Robert's mouth was a fire on his, burning, flashing, shooting dozens of wild blazes inside him.

Robert felt like bombs were erupting inside of him, and their bed seemed so far away. The sounds from outside were drowned out by their raspy gasps and labored breathing.

They didn't have much time, they both knew that someone would eventually find them.

"Later," Aaron promised him when he heard the door open downstairs.

Robert's body was still quivering, and he could still feel Aaron's arousal against his leg. He cursed under his breath but followed Aaron back downstairs to their waiting guests.

Later that night when they were curled together in bed, Robert laid his hand on Aaron's heart and smiled.

"Thank you," he murmured. 

"For what?" Aaron asked.

"For today. For giving me another chance. For giving me my family back."

Aaron just smiled. "I love you."

The house was quiet around them, all their guests gone and their son fast asleep down the hall in his room.

The perfect end to a perfect day, and the start of their new life together.


End file.
